Oh! I was wondering what the hell a mastiff was.

Weirdly enough, after I read about the mastiff in your care, I picked up a book that Kirstin had given me as a birthday present looong ago, and behold: "The General read somewhere that Columbus brought a pack of mastiffs to the New World to terrorize the savages."

I forget who you are, already. Come home soon and I can remember. Please keep the 20th of Dec. free for my birthday. Thank you.

I’ll answer in order:

I don’t know.

I’m serving at a pub. It’s called The Village Idiot Pub. It’s like a pub, with pub food, and lots of draft beer. My boss is a little unpredictable, but seems to like me. Today my co-worker called in sick and I had a table of ten and a table of thirteen along with five or six tables of two at the same time. Then one the table of ten complained the food was taking too long. I shrugged. Then they all wanted separate bills.

Still working on the job application. Hope to have it done tomorrow morning.

I’ll be in Edmonton for two weeks!

Who does?

Are you serving? What kind of a place is it?

Are you done your application yet?

How long will you be in Edmonton for?

You may answer these questions in whichever order you prefer, but you must answer them all. Yes, even the first one. I'd like to know.

i don't wanna go to work!

First things first. I wasn’t drunk. I’m just bad at spelling.

Saturday is like Sunday for me. Which basically means I get to dread going back to work tomorrow.

I’m working on that job application for the U of T Center for Women and Trans People. It’s sort of fun. But also frustrating. What if they just don’t call me. At least in university when you handed in a paper you got it back with, if nothing else, a grade. Which suggests that someone read it. The more I’m away from school the more I think it’s great, but I know I wouldn’t think that if I went back. What I probably miss is all that money that I got and that I have to pay back now.

Maybe I should put off finding a real job and see if this grasshoppin thing turns into something job-ish.

Tonight I’m house sitting for a friend who is in Montreal for a couple days. She has a mastiff. He is fucking massive. I think I’ll go walk around with him at three in the morning just for fun. No one messes with you when you keep company with a mastiff.

2000 miles, Tequila, and My City is Gone. Ahhh, Saturday afternoon. So, I might actually take that class. There's one in Chicago in January and one outside of New York--the Hudson River Valley--in July. Hmmm.

p.s.--were you drinking when you wrote durring? Does one slur in print form as well?

hmm. indeed.

You? Straight? Pfft.

out of commision: sunday thru thursday.

sorry i never update durring the week because i'm working and if i'm not working i'm drinking and if i'm not doing either of those things i'm sleeping.

take the writing course! find a way.

so far i've stolen about 14 glasses from work. i already broke one. cheap pieces of shit.

what else? oh, in case you didn't see it already: http://www.bigrockbeer.com/grasshoppin/

i'm working on an application for the UofT's center for women and trans people. i'm probably a little too white and a little too straight to get this job, but i REALLY REALLY want it.

I have to take Lynda Barry's writing class!

No, seriously.

http://www.myspace.com/writingtheunthinkable

Ahhh...I love this crazy lady!

ha ha ha ha.

Anything that I could steal at work has a retail value of like, $2500, which makes the whole prospect considerably un-fun. I stole a pen once. A good inky one.

every morning when i get to work, around ten, i go to the basement – after signing in and before vacuuming – and put two pint glasses in my purse. so far i have a stella half pint, a tennents, a boddingtons, a full and a half pint hoogardens, and two waterloo dark glasses. this makes work SO much more bearable. just sayin'. anything fun you could steal at your work?

Wednesday.

Today I had five test tubes of blood drained out of my arm. It was great. Then I went to replenish (with food, not with more blood) at a quiet coffee shop, where I ordered a giant salad that was very artfully composed--a towering pile of delicious leaves, goat cheese, almonds, and cranberries. Unfortunately, I found a slimy, twisted piece of hair at the bottom of this composition, which really should have bothered me more than it did. I merely ate around it, polishing off every last morsel, save the leaf that was touching the hair. Er, I might have eaten that too, actually.

In other news, I'm considering a career as a drone. Just to change things up a bit, you know?

oh hush.

it is intense. now i'm afraid he's going to get assassinated.

I'm Jealous

At first, I was elated--hopeful, energized, and enormously relieved. But I have to say, the green is creeping in. After all these smug years of gentle anti-Americanism, I want to be American! Mostly, I just want in on the party. But I also wish that I could claim some responsibility for such a historic moment--such an exhilarating moment. Well, with any luck, Obama will soon be our leader. Suddenly, I'm all for the previously dreaded invasion, although the cruel irony is that now, with such a peace-loving individual leading the country, it may never happen.