found it. good comment, i think. that other guy is annoying.

Well, a lot of people have commented since me. You just have to go to the previous page of comments. But it doesn' t matter--the comments that are on the first page are fascinating. Really, how much do you pay as an individual for Heather Mallick's column, "Johnsonville"? Ok, I'll take it back to CBC. Garrhh!

i can't find your comment.

i still have a job. i just can't drink at it. which doesn't actually stop me. i just don't pay for it. and i do it while working. the boss is so crazy ramona, a part of me would be relieved if he fired me.

i'm going to a volunteer orientation for Redwood, it's a shelter for women and children, on wednesday.

i need more to do. i'm over thinking things. and i'm feeling lonely.

Hey, guess what? I'm anti-hatred!

Researchers have discovered a hate circuit in the brain. Good.

Now, I've been struck lately by how often people are hateful--it's not just that the word is overused ("I hate ice cream!"), but people really hate each other. They hate co-workers, politicians, and products deeply and violently. I hear it on the radio, in my own office, and at home.
I have never associated any of my negative feelings towards a person as hatred. I can say truthfully that I've never hated anyone, not even a public figure. I'm beginning to think that I've given the emotion too much credit--I imagine it to be a pure, intense aggression, something that you instinctively know to be hatred. But considering the phenomenon of hate mail, for instance, I guess it's much more arbitrary. Hatred just seeps from the stuff. It's relentless and it's common. It is grinding me into the ground. I guess the entire population except for me has a vibrating, pent-up vitriol that they are just waiting to unleash on strange journalists--strange in that they are strangers. It's crazy!

I finally had to submerge myself into the filthy little pool that is "reader's comments"--oops! I think there's a little hatred in that sentence--and stand up for Heather Mallick, who has been viciously attacked by both Canadians and Americans since her controversial Palin article. Well, actually, she's always been viciously attacked--is it plain sexism? Hatred for the fun of it?

Here is her response to the controversy and here is my comment, at the bottom of the article.

And Bryn, do you still have a job? Last I heard, you were kicked out of the restaurant that you work in.

good call. i'll get my lawyer on it right away.

they're going to send us to five festivals this upcoming summer. i'm hoping they send us to Edmonton, Calgary, Folk on the rocks, Winnipeg, and Ottawa. They also put us up in hotels, fly us to and from the festivals, give us five $200 gift certificates for Moxie’s, and 250 bucks in spending money for each festival!

in other news, i always seem to work for crazy people. my boss now reminds me of zee in a lot of ways, but more of a control freak, and not as easy to read and quiet. last night after my shift the girl i was working with, jess, and i decided to stick around for a drink. we had two and then Atif (our boss) told the guy who was serving us to stop. so we basically got kicked out. what the hell? we were paying for our drinks. i just don't get some people.

Bryn, it says you may be offered alcohol on site. You should negotiate the contract so that you will be offered alcohol on site.

Sweet. They are obviously anticipating some bad behaviour! And so they should, so they should...

I knew you would win. I'm not surprised at all. So how does it work? How long will you be grasshoppin'?

just a little snippet of the contract i have to sign

"Big Rock Brewery is not responsible for the action of the participants while participating in our
Contest. Any property damage, personal injury, all in all - law breaking that takes place for the
duration of the awarded Grand Prize is the responsibility of the participant. Grand Prize winner
understands that alcohol may be offered to them while on site at the festivals – however the participant
understands that he/she is not required to consume and if they choose to do so, it is of their own choice.
Behaviours or events that occur after choosing to consume the offered alcohol are the responsibility of
the Grand Prize winner."

swollen bellies, needles, lubricant, and cold steel. nice.

not to change the subject completley, but...Claire and I won the grasshoppin' contest!! it's going to be great! f

Yes. I am happy. I live to make you cry.

So, today I went for the ol' physical. You know what that means. It means a stranger poking you in the most private of places. Sigh. Yesterday I went to a baby shower, and the two events--the shower and the physical exam--have become kind of interchangeable in my mind. There was also some sewing done in between, so there are swollen bellies, needles, lubricant, and cold steel all swirling around in my physical memory. Huh.

On a side, but related, note; did you know that one cat litter can have more than one father? Something I learned at the shower, natch.

oh my god. that actually made me tear up.

okay, fine. i cried. i totally cried. happy?

my heart is bursting

Done, and done

you have the privileges that come with being admin now. i'm not sure why i had to grant you these privileges, but i did.

i'm in a starbucks right now and they are playing the worst cover of susan.

i start the new job tomorrow, hopefully i make it through more than three shifts this time around.

It's time...

to change our title to Post-Acceleration. Apparently they shut down the collider.

--I can't do it since I don't have "privileges"--

And B, you do have other skills. I mean, you totally know your way around Ikea and you always win at dominoes.

jobs are hard ramona. and why is my only skill serving other people? that's fucked up right?

Why high-waisted?

Yes, I did make a cheesecake. I also made a mascarpone/chocolate/rum layered cake a few nights ago. I gave away 3 slices and ate the rest of it myself. One thing about this baking business--you realize how much crap is in that crap! Not that it stops me.

Whenever my mum talks about her art school days in TO, Fran's comes up. I feel like your life is now a version of Cat's Eye. I'm so jealous of your creepy life! I'm also jealous of the Globe and Mail Style section aspect of living in the big city. Jerk!

Meanwhile, in Edmonton:
http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/local/story.html?id=fca9c1c8-d3f5-4f66-8838-bf4e96f8fda7
Not even a block away from my place.

Shoot me. Or, I suppose, stab me.
No, I'm kidding. I want to live.

Hey Ramona.

Tell me about thanksgiving! I hear you made/are making a pumpkin cheesecake?

My friend Guy and I are going to Fran’s for a thanksgiving dinner of our own. I really just want the pie.

Now that I’ve got a place to live and a job -- that I haven’t started yet -- I’m not really sure what to do with myself. The first few days I was here the adrenaline was pumping and I was walking all over the city all day looking at places and dropping off resumes and trying to convince myself it would all be okay. I guess I’m coming down from that adrenalin high, and I don’t have anything to distract myself with. Also I just got my period, which probably isn’t helpful. Normally in situations like this I would buy stuff. But I don’t have any money at the moment. I think once I start getting paid my first purchase will be some really high wasted pants.

feelings? so over rated. and i can't post a picture. i lost my camera cord.

i have the worst blisters on my feet. actaully they aren't blisters anymore, just open wounds. it hurts to walk. it hurts a lot.

hey, ramona, come visit me. i have a futon big enough for two.

i'm on fire!

i found a place to live. AND i got a job.

Well, I woke up too early. It’s only eight and I am fully dressed, but there isn’t much for me to do until noon.

I hope someone calls me about a job today. I’m not sure if anyone will let me rent from them if I don’t have a job.

Hi. This is Ramona, reporting from the Lonely City of Rape and Random Attacks Against Women, as I have come to know it. I told you about the man who threw a shoe at me. Since then, I've started to notice all kinds of depressing things which don't necessarily relate to the name itself, but which do reflect my emotional state living under LCRRAAW, which is now not only a city but a tyrant. Ahem.

i spent ALL day walking around droping off resumes.

tomorrow i look for apartments.